Bright lights shining brightly land lightly upon me caressing my skin and running it's fingers through my hair. I'm comforted in knowing that the comforted are those who have been dead for years and they don't have to worry about this place that we call home. Because one day soon I will join them and I can forget about all my hardships that I had to endure on this planet Earth. They don't have any trials, and they don't have to worry about feeding their children because when your dead and gone they will grow a garden with the ashes you've left behind and feed themselves for years to come. The Lord in His goodness has blessed me with life and not to say I am ungrateful, but it's hard to be grateful at times when the world that he has given you keeps falling apart.

It's always seemed like my effort was there and it always seemed like I was giving it all I had and I have always seemed to come up short and I have just become tired, just a tad. I've become a vagabond searching for a course of action that will lead me back into your arms, because in your embrace I feel weightless and I know you can carry me home. All I've ever wanted to do was feel at home and finally with you I will never be alone. I won't have to defend my actions and I won't have to participate in self destruction; I won't have to lose myself in pornography and I won't care to be involved in the post production. I won't live in a world where those around me don't help those around me, because the rats won't eat the poison when they have a marvelous feast abounding. The roots in my gardens are mutating into trees and it's always been you. In your arms I am free. . . Because you have always been there through it all, continuously holding out your hand just waiting for mine.

I'm ready to be taken into the heavens and although I will miss my family I pray that they will understand the weight that's being lifted and they can still say they are proud of me. My children are older now and they've seen my good times and my bad times throughout their lives. They have precious memories of me to hold on to to cherish and compartmentalize. And to my loving wife, my sweet angel, my queen . . . Don't let my absence take away from your life and leave no corner nor crevice unseen. Bring forth your ambitions and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough, because believe me when I say that you have been everything I could have ever wanted in a loving human being.

Now finally I have some words for the me I leave behind: quit telling yourself you weren't adequate and quit putting yourself in the back of the line. The journeys that you've been on have lead you through some dark paths and even though you seem distant at times, you've grown to be a very bright young man. But most of all your adventures have lead you to oceans that have seemed to be collapsing in on you and bringing ocean debris and at times you thought you would drown, but now I can proudly say that you are a proficient at surviving and there's nothing in this world that can bring you down. Your skin has become thicker than the Earth's crust and you promised you would never hear this but you must:
You are good enough.
You are worthy of a life.
Don't let people tell you different and don't you dare make me say it twice:
You are better than good.
You're exactly who you were meant to be.

Now go live your life to the fullest and don't turn around to take a look back. I promise one day you'll see someone standing on the mountain tops, waving goodbye, thinking that they have surpassed you in all ways in their life, but really they're just up there for the wrong reasons and the avalanche is coming. And while you stay grounded you'll feel light as air because you have cast your burdens on the one who cares. Pass the mountains you see the sky and the sun is making it's debut in the morning time. And I'm telling you this because there's no reason for you to dwell in the past when your future is so bright.

But as bright lights shining brightly land lightly upon me caressing my skin and running it's fingers through my hair, I know that it's time to go home, and I'm at peace.

For I am no longer scared.