Just some thoughts on dealing with struggles and change; and figuring out where God fits into everything in our lives. At this point in our country, things seem uncertain and people are finding it hard to put their trust in God. This track is to encourage you that God IS there and even though things seem impossible to overcome, He is there, and you will get through this. We will get through this, together.
. . . . . . . . .
A wise man once told me at times a lesson learned may as well be a lesson forgotten. We go through seasons and changes where we think The Lord isn't watching. We pick and choose what we want to follow out of Gods word and fit it to who we want to be. But we forget that God is the word and without the fullness of Him, it is impossible to be the fullness of me. We become complacent, impatient, and quiet. Well I've got a lot of fire left in me and even though I've been quiet for a time, I'm coming back with a vengeance and a fury.
I've wondered through this forest looking for ways to wake the dead, but I've learned that no amount of heartache can bring back the ones you love. And maybe it's time to move on. I use these poems to write about progress, but nothing in my life seems to be progressing. When I am stagnant in my faith, I feel nothing but alone. And I've tried to move past this but I've been frozen like a stone. And maybe it's just me, but I've been questioning things a lot more recently: why do I wake? Why do I sleep?
Every mornings the same as my slumber seems weak. And I'm tired of waiting. Where are you NOW? I need your presence more each day, and it seems more and more that I'm disallowed from your grace. I long to see your face and I would die to bring you glory.
I can't do this lord! I can't be who you want me to be! I'm suffering slowly and it's killing me gently. It doesn't feel like pain. It feels like a euphoric state of being and I don't notice that I'm quickly getting blisters on my hands and feet. This isn't the love I'm used to seeing and I want to be whole again. But I'm lost. I can't find the person that I used to be and I'm lost. The thicket of the forest is piercing my soul. And I am lost.
Jesus, where are you now?
Now when I need you most... Where are you?
My eyes are fixed upon you, but I can't see you.
I can't see you.
I can't see, oh I can't see.
Open eyes, can you hear me?
We go through seasons and changes that are too much for us. We claim that The Lord isn't watching; that he isn't there. How could he be? If he were really present, if he really cared, why would I be enduring such pain, loneliness, uncertainty, and despair? Well this is certainly untrue, I swear to you that the almighty lord of lords and king of kings watches over you carefully. I can guarantee you with a certainty that you are His. He tells you this is only the beginning, the misery has just begun, but trust me, everything will be okay in the end my son. "How could you do this to me Lord? I can't take it! I can't shake it! I can't make it! I won't be able to make it through the night!" And I can't explain exactly what it looks like, but I can show you what it means. As I come face to face with the wisest man staring back at me.
And He says, "I am with you"
And "That everything is gonna be alright."
At times a lesson learned is a lesson forgotten, but a lesson can be revisited as many times as necessary. The Lord is with you wherever you go and you will never have to feel alone. May God and his mercy rain down on thee as you tremble under the blankets of his wonderful and gracious majesty. And this is as a wise man once said to me.
released May 20, 2017
Written by Dylan Nowak
Produced, Mixed, & Mastered by James Littier of HMNI Productions
all rights reserved